Father God,

You chose that I should be Jenn’s mother, and I don’t know why. I feel so unequipped for her needs. I don’t know how to be patient, consistent and loving to this little chameleon of drama. I need your help and your wisdom to know what to say and do to help her become a happy, healthy, functional adult. I’m not doing it well enough on my own.

Lord, sometimes I see things going wrong with my Little One and it feels like things are going to keep going more wrong until she spirals out of control, out of reach, out of normal life. I have so many fears for her. I’m frightened when I work in the homeless shelter and see the people who have hit rock bottom, and think that this could be her. I’m frightened that the world will hammer out her beautiful uniqueness and turn her into a conformist drone. I get scared that her uniqueness will prevent her from connecting well to other people. I get so afraid, Lord, and then I get angry at her, and scold when I should love or seek to understand the heart behind her hurtful words.

Lord, remember that bad time in my life, and that crappy car I had with the broken radio? Remember how we had that tape of preschool worship songs that got stuck in the cassette player for about three weeks before I could pry it out? I’m thinking about one of those songs now, God, and it’s giving me peace. Thank you.

“This is my Father’s world
And let me never forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong
God is the ruler yet.

This is my Father’s world,
the battle is not won
Jesus who died shall be satisfied,
and Earth and Heaven be one.”

–”This is my Father’s World”