Wednesday afternoon four unhappy people joined the millions of drivers swarming away from Chicago. A 4.5 hour drive to Ann Arbor stretched out to seven hours because of the traffic jam, and it was seven quiet, troubled hours.

First Born uninvited her roomie, Adopted Daughter, because of a series of disagreements and FB’s concern about her alcohol abuse. While we traveled to Michigan, she worried that AD and her friends were going to trash her apartment out of spite. She also worried about breaking her lease and finding another roomie. Most heartbreaking of all, her friends turned on her. I’ll never forget how she clutched her temples and sobbed when she told me that they said she was self-centered. I would do almost anything to erase that pain from her heart and that image from my mind.

Little One was sick not only with the ongoing stomach problems but also with a cold and nasty cough. Earlier in the week she had a huge blow-up because of her resentment of Big Guy. She still doesn’t want to accept his place in the family and says “He’s nothing to me – he’s just the guy you married.” LO thinks I always take his side, and BG thinks I’m too lenient with her.

BG is heartbroken at LO’s rejection. He tries so hard to be a good stepfather and is a better father than her own. Not that it was too hard to beat Ray in the fatherhood arena. LO’s attitude towards him is tearing him apart and he’s responding with anger. Add to that emotion the pain and stress of recent church events and we have one distressed man.

Me? I was fretting over my family. Dodging the sniping between LO and BG. Wondering how I can possibly be enough to soothe them all. To ease their hurts. Like I said, it was a silent journey and I had a lot of time to think. And pray.

For all twelve years of my single parenting life, I held onto the hope that someday I would have the family of my dreams. A warm, loving family with a mom and dad and kids. I always thought I would have more children and that we’d have a big, joyful family life together. All those years of single parenthood, I spent many holidays alone. The joint custody agreement had us swapping off the holidays, and Ray returning the girls to me the next day. On the holidays where he had custody, there simply wasn’t time for me to travel to my family and then back again. It wasn’t much fun to be alone, but someday in the bright shining future it would all be changed for the better.

But in the car, I realized that this particular dream is not going to come true. I am a divorced woman and my children will always be part of a broken home, regardless of my wonderful husband and all his efforts at building a family. However, this Thanksgiving we were all together, and were able to travel together to be with my family. Though it was quiet in the car, we were still there together.

And at my sister’s house we enjoyed one of the nicest holidays in a long time. My little sister and her family were the only ones who couldn’t make it. We stocked up on love and laugher, talks and hugs, games and food. We talked about times past and the events and people who have made their marks on our lives over the years. We taught Big Guy the card game my family always plays – Nerts – and this was probably the biggest indication yet that he has become accepted and loved by my loved ones. He even got to carve the turkey.

Coming home, our problems were not magically solved. Our stresses were waiting at the front door to leap upon us. But for me, it gave me a little peace to absorb my family’s love and be reminded that none of my problems and pains are permanent. All this will pass, and our lives will take on new shapes. This gives me peace in the middle of worry.