This fall I have done something I never thought I would do (though I secretly wanted to). I joined the music team at my church. This means that I’ll be singing (!!) every Saturday night during the worship service – an idea that makes me both excited and scared at the same time.

I really don’t know how I did this. I’m not one of those people who took choir in school. In fact, I wanted to take choir, but my older sister was already singing in the choir. My mom had a rule that we couldn’t be in the same activities, so that meant that I joined band and played a clarinet very badly for seven years and wished to be a singer. Recently, I questioned my mom about this “activities rule”, and she said, “Oh, I had to do that, because you were so competitive.” Competitive? I have no recollection of this. I do remember wanting with all my heart to be just like my big sister, and maybe that’s why my mom kept our achievements separate. Maybe she was giving me the space to grow into my own unique self. And when you think about that, well, that’s a pretty beautiful thing to do for someone.

The Big Guy is an accomplished singer and musician who can play, I dunno, four or five instruments unless he picked up another one while driving to work today. Which is completely possible for him. For years he was the worship leader for our sister church, Joy!, and he would encourage me to come and sing with them. My stomach would clutch up and I was sure that he only asked because he wanted to marry me (or afterwards, that he wanted to stay married to me) and I would always say no. There’s a big difference between singing in your car and singing into a microphone.  Even if you’re car-singing your absolute best to the same songs in case you’re ever forced at gunpoint to do Karaoke, and then, hey, at least you’d have a song ready that you knew you could do well.

I found out this difference a few weeks ago when an emergency condition arose for the Saturday night music team. Most of the band was out of town and Joe was filling in, along with one lonely girl, a teen singer from our youth group. I was writing out at the cafe when she ran out and said, “I’m the only girl up there! Just come up and stand with me during the service!” I leapt into action. When I got up there, I mentioned very casually that, you know, I’d be OK singing into a microphone. Ha. My evil plan came to fruition.

But then, our worship leader came back the next week and heard what happened, and apparently the other band members must have said that I didn’t sound too awful, then there was an informal audition and now I’ve joined the band. Oh yeah, while I was at it I went ahead and joined the traditional choir too.

Last night was my first rehearsal and I learned that, unlike singing in your car, worship leading is work. I have a lot to learn, but I get a reprieve. This weekend our teenagers are taking over the services and the regular bands won’t be playing. Whew! Till next week…